


Pillar of Strength

by drew



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-31
Updated: 2004-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-04 12:08:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drew/pseuds/drew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry finds his in an unexpected place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pillar of Strength

So somewhere after the fifth assassination attempt, you got a little ticked off. (Heck, when it really came down to it, did they really count as assassination attempts? Didn't assassination require stealth?) Sure, you were this prophesied savior and more than passable in the wand-wielding and courage departments, but honestly? It was getting a little old, and you were really just looking for some peace and quiet -- so you could get down to grieving over Sirius and trying to fit together the pieces of your life you felt like you'd managed to salvage thus far.

There were several touch-and-go moments through June where you had to learn how to take your tears and hide them away somewhere -- mostly when the Dursleys snapped back and forth about "that school" and "that godfather of yours", but when Ron, Hermione, and Neville appeared at the door in early July you felt like you more or less had a handle on things. Until you saw Professor Lupin.

Remus Lupin was, to be frank, not doing well. His habitual shabbiness seemed to have penetrated his being, not merely his clothing and possessions, and dimmed his eyes almost to the point of nonrecognition. His face had gone even thinner and his hair was slightly disheveled, as if he'd only thought about combing it. You'd thought that maybe Lupin would help you get over Sirius's... well, you weren't sure exactly what it was -- it didn't _feel_ like _death_, but he very clearly wasn't here anymore. You realized right on seeing him, however, that this wouldn't happen. If anything, you'd have to be _Lupin's_ strength, and you were so tired of being strong for other people.

That night, in the Burrow, after a hasty meal presided over by forced smiles, you talked with Hermione, Ron, and Neville, and laid it all out; Sirius's... passing, Dumbledore's revelations, and, now that you'd had a chance to think a little bit, the full background on the prophecy. There was the canonical Long Pause For Thought, and when someone finally spoke it was Neville.

"So what happens now?" It was asked so innocently that a year's worth of sarcasm building up inside you finally let loose.

"We wait until someone tries to kill me again, then go stop them. After five years, _that_ at least should be obvious. Don't you have any sense of pattern recognition? Or maybe you were asking who would die this time?" The bitterness behind the words surprised even you.

"Harry!" Hermione was not pleased. "We feel for you, really we do; Sirius may not have been the most by-the-book wizard out there, but he was a good one, and on our side, and we all miss him. But this isn't the way to solve the problem!" She stood. "Look, Ron and I are going to head out back and sit under the stars. You're welcome to come if you want..." she trailed off, but the implication was clear.

"No, that's okay," you heard yourself say, almost easily. "I think I'll stay in and mope a little more. I'm really getting the hang of it." Hermione rolled her eyes, but let the remark go. Dragging Ron to his feet, she left the room, trying not to huff on her way out.

That left you and Neville. Who, though you'd shared a room with him for five years, you didn't really know all that well. You didn't even know why he was here this summer, though you thought it had something to do with the prophecy, or maybe with Ginny. She'd always had a soft spot for him, you thought.

It was Neville who broke the silence. "So, um, this prophecy."

"What about it?" You really tried to keep the irritation out of your voice, and it must have worked, because he actually answers instead of regarding you with that now-patented _why are you mad at *me*_? look.

"I just. Didn't expect to be related to it. And, um. I'm sorry it got shattered in the Ministry." He did actually look sorry, which surprised you -- you had figured he'd get...

"Aren't you mad that you didn't know? That I didn't tell you? That _Dumbledore_ didn't tell you?"

His was a wry grin. "Nobody tells me anything, Harry." You sort of shuffled your feet, which is hard when you're sitting down, but it was the best gee-I'm-sorry look you could pull off right then. "I'm really sorry about Sirius. Losing someone... it's tough." And you could completely believe him, because after Dumbledore in his infinite wisdom took a bat to your picture of the world, things had been more than a little strange and sad, but nobody in the world seemed to have more experience in dealing with the strange and sad than Neville Longbottom.

It's right about then that you think you completely lost it, tears and everything. You're not sure, though -- the timing of the rest of the night is a bit... _off_, mostly because right about then Neville took off your glasses and kissed you, as if that could make it all right for more than a few seconds, and then just sort of held you about the shoulders for a while. He didn't give your glasses back until the next day, but that was okay because you couldn't see clearly through the tears anyway.

You felt like you might finally be able to help Lupin, and all because you finally knew where to turn for yourself.


End file.
